alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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