I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Hippo gnu deer
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
