I hope mine doesn't look like that
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
