Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize