Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
