The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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