i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
