Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
