I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
