I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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