i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
