So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
