how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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