it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
