so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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