he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
