I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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