I hate your face
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
