So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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