3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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