just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
