idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize