I wanna passion pit in your ass
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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