He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
