My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
