I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
How external is "for external use only"?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
