the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
