i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Dicks are not precious.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
