chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
is it fun? or sober?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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