Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
