Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
