Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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