For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
