As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
