Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
