I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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