Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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