Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
