ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Randomize
