Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
