What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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