Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I have tasted many bathrooms
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
