i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
we're so committed to being not committed
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
