are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
