Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
