Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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