he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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