Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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