You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
