Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
