Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
