Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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