Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
