Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
