we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
