it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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