you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize
