Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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