my vag is so smooth its legendary
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You've changed since you got that strap on
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
