I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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