Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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