Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
