Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
