it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
