I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
