i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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