Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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